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The Destructive Power of the Law of Familiarity

Have you ever thought how long it took you to find your partner?
How many non-eventuated dates you had to go on? How many hours spent trying to find someone, getting ready, texting, trying to find out about each other? Then breakups and back to square one.
Maybe your story was different but that is the gist of an average love-finding journey.
And then we find the one we can be ourselves with, who we laugh with, who we love, treasure and adore.
And unfortunately take for granted.. eventually, if not careful.

The law of familiarity kicks in.

We start thinking we know that person. We start noticing negative traits, we start allowing ourselves to be irritated and we stop taking care of someone who once was so precious. It is so easy to stop appreciating who we have in front of us. Well, that can be beginning of an end.

The law of familiarity can make anything, once exciting, boring and mandate. From a new car, new home, new job, new shoes to a new relationship.

Familiarity is a sure path to complacency. Before we know it, we simply put less effort. We take less care.
We care less.

So how do we overcome it? After all, it’s a law. Can we bend this law?

Yes indeed. If you and your partner avoid the law of familiarity, you’ll be in rare top percents of couples who look at each other with love, care, gratitude and honour in years to come.


What can you do to ensure that happens?

  1. Fear of loss yourself (link to the other article). What if today was the last day you see your partner, how would you be towards them?
  2. Count your blessings. What are you grateful for in your partner? What how can you show this gratitude to them?
  3. What do you appreciate about your partner? Tell them often (daily is not too often at all, just saying).
  4. What do you most love about your partner? Is there anything you used to love about them that now annoys you? How can you change it to positives again?
  5. What was the beginning of your relationship like? How were you different? Do what you did in the beginning of a relationship and there won’t be an end.” Tony Robbins

Finally, never think you know someone well. We are always changing, always evolving, always discovering something new.
So should you, keep discovering your partner.

Ksenia Demidova

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